Sunday, April 24, 2011

A Predule To Hunting Season

Ladies, gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages; the weather outside is growing increasingly warm, the birds increasingly jubilant and the bloodlust that's lain dormant within the breast of the hunter throughout the winter increasingly hungry.

It seems as if hunting season began yesterday, with not so much a bang as a bloodcurdling series of rodent squeals, barely even uttered before they were choked off by intense arterial spray and a mound of corpses so dense as to cut off any warning that Cat is once again out for blood.

And out for blood she truly is. I won't go into the details before I'm able to present you all with a comprohensive photographic record, but I will offer the image at right as evidence of the smallest kill of the nascent hunting season.

She killed the little guy, saw a larger mouse, went after it, and left the original corpse there for me to clean up.

I've become a Cleaner.

For the rest of the gory details, stay tuned. Same Cat Time, Same Cat Channel.

Monday, March 28, 2011

A Dearth Of Murder

It would seem, ladies and gentlemen, that not only is there a "hunting season," but that said season seems to have come to an end months ago.

Blame the chill hand of Ded Moroz. Blame the pervasive spirit of Christmas. Hell, blame whatever kept a ship full of Yautja warriors from killing Danny Glover at the end of Predator 2, if you must. In any case, the result is the same: months without a dead rodent, and a palpable sense of bloodlust welling within whatever part of Cat's brain is descended directly from the monstrous thunder lizards of yore.

Personally, I blame climate change. Like so many Ed Begley Jr.'s I see the shift to near-freezing nights as reason enough for Cat to stay inside, languidly stretched in front of a fire, instead of tearing throats and crushing spines. Can any of you say you'd rather be outside enjoying the tang of fresh arterial spray betwixt your jaws when the mercury drops to unholy depths?

I thought not. Still, as March comes to a close and the sun grows ever bolder, I have a dark feeling that hunting season is once again near at hand.

For the sake of Internet bloodlust, let's hope Cat feels the same.