Benjamin Franklin once said that there were only two certainties in life: taxes and the death of small animals at the paws of Cat. While Mr. Franklin's prediction probably sounded a trifle strange to those within earshot (who changed the phrase to simply read "death" when Ben wasn't paying attention), he was certainly not incorrect, as every entry in this blog will prove.
Of course, had Franklin lived today, he may have also added "the inexorable forward march of technology" to his list of unavoidable realities. Where we once had horse-drawn buggies we now have automobiles. Where we once had swords we now have assault rifles. Where we once had velociraptors we now have Cat.
And like the velociraptors who were replaced with a predator more lethal, more cunning, and a hundred times more fuzzy, wuzzy, wuzzy, so too have Cat's exploits been replaced with something more appealing to modern man.
So pour yourself a drink dear reader. Sit back in a comfortable chair and relax yourself. Today, instead of a series of pictures, I present the first live-action video footage of Cat's exploits.
I shouldn't have to warn you by now, but please, if there are any children or people of weak constitution in the audience, we urge you, for the sake of any delicate fabrics or valuable electronics nearby, do not press play on the video window below.
You'll just end up covered in vomit and sadness.